Girl, Where Have You Been?

It's been six months since I've done anything associated with my Facing Fear world. I'm honored you're still here and still with me. Turns out that surviving cancer is... exhausting.

I rang theeeee bell in October and while I was tired, I was on a high. I made it through an entire year of treatment and I fcking survived. I did things I NEVER thought I could do. After 365 days of living on pure adrenaline and in survival mode, I was d.o.n.e. I finished the year emotionally eating whatever holiday treats I wanted and slugging through work.

As the end of the year approached, I thought for one second I could make future plans without interruptions. HA, wrong. I got Covid. Jacob, Roman and I spent the night watching the ball drop from our bed and went to sleep at 12:01 AM. Woman plans, God laughs. 2022 was NOT my year, medically.

January and February proved to have their own challenges as rejoining "normal" life after surviving cancer is anything but... normal. I tried to go back to work full-time, in office, get back to my part-time fitness job, eat healthy (I tried to do a Whole30 in January LOL girl, no), have a social life, and meditate and go to therapy and be in cancer support groups and take care of our dog AND AND AND. And, eventually, I broke. I had a pretty intense panic attack while in the car with Jacob one Sunday so he took the wheel (literally and metaphorically) and decided we should both skip work tomorrow and attend my cancer appointment as a team. 

From there, we (Jacob, myself and my cancer team) decided I needed to take a leave of absence from work. So I did. It's been two months of focusing on my wellness needs, going on a social media hiatus, staying off computers (hence the Facing Fear hiatus as well), sleeping, learning embroidery, going outdoors and going on some beautiful adventures. 

SO WHAT'S NEXT?
I'm not sure. And for the first time in my life, I am finally at peace with that. I know I need a new start. A clean slate. I am open to new opportunities in whatever form they may come.

WHAT ABOUT THAT BOOK YOU TOLD US ABOUT?
I took a pause working on that too, but... it is FINISHED! I just need to figure out how to share it. Coming soon. :)